Sisters by Barbara Carvallo

Blessings by Peno Hardesty

ONCE THERE WAS A ROCK I USED TO CLIMB OUT OF THE RABBIT HOLE

has anyone ever just reached for the phone because you just have to share the moment with.................and then you realize that there is no number to call---no one to answer---no one to share the moment with---and you just sit there--not hanging up just holding the phone--knowing there is nothing...................................

it's o.k.----you are not alone----I just did that too---we are alright--just missing someone----

there is a seedy little blues bar
on the wrong side of town
'where those wrong kind of people go
on those wrong kind of nights

old friends and lovers wait,,,,,,,,,,,,,

DEAR GINA AND ARTHUR

,,in time

blessings.........................................

Lilacs by Jackie B. Steele

"" Mother Earth for too long has allowed her children to direct her, to cajole her into thinking that all was okay. She will empower herself with what needs to be done, what needs to be healed. She will do this gently and with love. Be thankful that she is gentle and loving—for the earth would shatter and break apart – if she was otherwise. Let down the hair of your soul and show the true being that you are. Stand on a cliff over the pounding shores, remembering those times when you went to the mountaintops, and called the wind, when you sang to the water, and whispered to the elements.

I come to applaud the boldness of your spirit. Do not let life whip you into submission. Do not let your very own creations make you barren of passion. If what you have created does not honor you- let it go. Resurrect what was once without fear. """
" The Quantum Awakening Newsletter"

Quantum Awakening Newsletter

Something Beautiful by Barbara Carvallo

We Women by Barbara Carvallo

We women have been taught through various processes of familial indoctrination, propaganda distribution and social osmosis that we are responsible for the feelings of everyone around us.  Indeed, we are responsible to such an extent that our own feelings must take a backseat to those of others – if they are allowed to matter at all.  We are told that to honor our intuition is foolish; to take a stand on behalf of our own emotional health is heretical and anti-family.  The roles of daughter, sister, wife, mother and grandmother have been drawn, designed, proscribed and produced in many ways by people who will never fill these rolls and to serve a world order that has long since lost sight of the sacredness and beauty of the Divine Feminine.  Thus to paraphrase the Bard the mystery, magic and mysticism of womanhood from cradle to grave "like a foul and ugly witch, doth limp so tediously away ..."

Any woman is at best ridiculed who dares stand up and say the Witch is neither foul nor ugly; she is an empowered feminine archetype from whom all women, Witch or no, might learn.  Any woman who asserts without reservation that she will not live by proxy, wholly and consistently subjugating her will and feelings to those of another is counted as bitter, unwholesome, unnatural, unintelligent, and leave us not forget Freud’s masterful putdown of women as a group – hysterical.    

Recently, I was called a bitter old woman by a person who is apparently thick enough to think that I would be offended by the term “old woman.”  The word bitter convinced me that I had done the right thing in disassociating myself from her and through her the last link to what is laughingly referred to as my family (blood relatives that is).  Still, it is a hard thing to do; and I have done it before.  Once again, my Pagan philosophy does not allow me to judge or blame anyone; nonetheless, I must walk my Karmic path avoiding what is incompatible with the joy inherent in the life Goddess has given me and the learning She expects.

In Pagan Theology there is an aspect of the Great Goddess known as Lilith.  She is thought to have been the first wife of Adam who looked around and said, “Rib, my ass.  Can’t eat from the tree of knowledge and I am gone.” With that she walked out of the Garden of Eden under Her own steam.  She has been portrayed as a serpent, a harlot, a demon … well we all know that game.  To Pagan women she is viewed as a shero or a woman with the courage to take risks on her own behalf.  When things get rocky for me I think of an affirmation which I share here for all those in need:  I refuse to allow the opinions of others to authorize or control my state of mind.  I am the mistress of my thoughts and feelings.  I banish worry and invoke happiness.  I am open to the pleasures and ecstasy of life for I am LILITH.  Blessed be.

Co-Creating with the Plant Peoples by Jackie B. Steele

Good Morning Good People,
A Beautiful Spring Morning in East Central MN 
Transmuting Violet Flame, LOVING protection.
Co- Creating with the Plant peoples Violet & Lilac Flower essences
& Grateful

The End by Barbara Carvallo

All things come to an end,

In a time of their choosing
They simply fade away,
Into darkness, into nothingness

It is best to see the end coming,
To accept and even invite  it
So as to avoid the most painful end,
Grief, despair and the end of hope

A resilient heart accepts the end,

Even when it is unexpected
Yet something goes with it,
Leaving only a shadowy scar behind.

I am Witch by Barbara Carvallo

As pertains to a conversation with my dear sister, Jackie.

The Pagan view that I have always subscribed to is that a virgin is not a woman who has never screwed, but a woman who has never been screwed over.  She is not a woman who has never taken a lover; she is a woman who has never taken a master.  Further, the societal slop that women are expected to support out of some kind of genetically predestined need to swallow such swill makes my teeth ache; to wit: forgiveness, self love and self loathing.

I have said before and will say again; as a lifelong Pagan and devout follower of the Great Goddess, I don’t engage in forgiveness because I don’t engage in blame.  We all have our Karmic dance to do.  So dance on; but if in dancing with you I find that my feet are crushed, I must dance away and not look back.  For without my feet I can’t walk my path.  It is the Goddess' job to forgive, and to teach us all how to dance. 

One loves oneself because one is the child of the Goddess.  We are the stuff of Her dreams, materialized in magic on the surface of Her body to steward and defend this Earth and all Her creatures.  To loath oneself is to loath the Goddess, and this condition is usually a pernicious spiritual anemia born of exposure to the propaganda of a vicious and cruel patriarchy that transformed the Great Goddess into the Whore of Babylon, Mary Magdalene of the Gnostic Scriptures into a common prostitute and all women into a convenient source of evil to be dominated for the “good” of the race. One of the challenges of the Pagan woman’s path is to identify the stones of this rigid and deadly ideology, then to toss them aside so that we might move forward toward enlightenment unhindered.  We all do the best we can with Her help.

Thus, I like many of my sisters will not accept a faith, creed, path or world view that exposes my soul and my allegiance to the Goddess to harm or destruction.  I am Witch empowered in Her sight and by Her grace to live out my life as best it honors Her will and wisdom.  We Witches have always been and always will be.  No fire will ever burn hot enough or long enough to consume the Craft of the Wise.  Blessed be.

The Flowers Always Bloom by Barbara Carvallo

I have had a number of serious health scares recently.  Yesterday I concluded a round of tests, and pending some biopsies – which my doctor tells me she took as merely precautionary measures – I have a diagnosis of a treatable problem that is simply the result of years of living under great stress.

 

As I lay yesterday in a holding area waiting to be heavily sedated, a thing people with serious control issues dread worse than death, I had an intense anxiety reaction which brought on a near hallucinogenic state.  Focusing on my dear husband who was sitting beside me, my rock and sanity, I fought through; because fighting is what I do. 

Images from years gone by surfaced in my mind, like sands below river water shifting into shapes.  Old regrets mingled with old guilt and old battles won and lost.  Faces of friends and enemies and those about which I was never sure became first one then the other with lighting speed.  My long dead and never lamented parents followed me down a cold and narrow hallway into the procedure room.  I heard the nurse from somewhere off behind me talking, trying to divert me from what she took to be nervousness.  I would not be diverted.  I focused first on my father, then on my mother.  I realized that they made me brave, not because I don’t fear, but because I face my fear without hesitation.  They made me strong, because one had to be strong to live with two such monsters and survive.  They taught me when to fish and when to cut bait, when to hold on and when to let go; and that has saved my life more than once.  Through the horror of my childhood they circuitously gave me all they had to give – personal power, perspicacity, finely tuned instincts and a refusal to stay down whether fallen or knocked to the ground.

I must have been shivering because the nurse gave me another warm blanket, just as the doctor came into the spacious room facing the Great Rocky Mountain Front Range standing in stark relief against snow covered peaks.  She had a red flower in her hair.  Just as I drifted off to sleep the nurse mentioned that for some reason a lot of people had come to work with flowered smocks that day, and did I notice that doctor had a flower in her hair.  I knew that this must be a message from the Goddess that through all the terror, tragedy, torment and tawdriness of life – the flowers always bloom one way or another.

RABBIT HOLE SPEAK by Peno Hardesty

as we all enter this hallmark weekend----mother day---remember that is all it is---a hallmark weekend---we are all children of a mother----we are all the child that our mother chose to have---a flawed mother--- a "perfect" mother---a mother chose to have us---so forget hallmark --- it is a moneymaking weekend---- be the child----just see your mother--flaws and all--not just this weekend but always---call her ---and if you are like me stand out side and talk to her-- even though she is not" here " she hears you---mothers are not a weekend responsibility but rather the ancestors of generations not yet born---

blessings

Final Update on “Something Ugly This Way Comes”

Final clarification from the patient representative at Good Samaritan’s in Lafayette, CO, came in a phone call yesterday.  It seems that while the Little Sister of Ya-da-ya-da stand firm on their refusal to provide reproductive choice and care, they are “fully in support of advanced directives and sane end of life options.”  It is my cynical and well informed opinion that they are more likely “fully in support of” Medicare and ACA funding.

Be that as it may be, there is no insurance lobby to bring pressure on behalf of women and men in childbearing years to assert their rights to birth control and other forms of family planning.  There certainly is no pressure or special interest group powerful enough or rich enough to stand up for a woman’s right to choose.  Speaking of which, I once heard Chris Matthews demand to know why women talk about choice rather than just saying abortion.  He didn’t seem to understand the issue.  Let me make it clear, as I made it clear in an email to him.  We have always had abortion on demand in this country – we do it in hospitals now instead of garages.  De-legalize it and we go back to the garage; back to coat hangers and knitting needles; back to women bleeding out in piss filled alleys because they can’t get medical treatment fast enough to save their lives.  Therein rests the choice, and more to the point anyone who thinks that their smug and superior religious prejudices will prevent desperate women from pursuing desperate options has a serious problem – they are fucking delusional.

No one, be they a politician or a priest, a nun or televangelist has the legal right to tell a woman that she can’t have an abortion.  Safe, medical and therapeutic abortion has been the legal/medical standard of the land since Roe v. Wade became settled law in January of 1973.  A 7-2 majority in the highest court in the country upheld a woman’s right to control her own body by applying the 14^th Amendment’s implied right to privacy.  The only thing that can and will be done is the limiting of access to care.  Through state’s rights and religious freedom the tenets of one religious view are being legislated and commercialized into public policy that deprives women, of all faiths and creeds, of the ability to control their own reproductive processes.   Thus, taking us back to the 1950’s when the state, the church and/or the men in our lives owned our bodies, leaving us no option but to have children until our uterus prolapsed.  What you may ask of all the unwanted, poor or starving children that result from such an arcane policy?  Well, the Catholics and other denominations have their charities which have yet, by the way, failed to solve the problems of poverty or hunger.  While most of the politicians making these idiotic laws consider bloated corporations more deserving of their assistance then hungry children.

So, the next time we have an election those who don’t turn up to vote because they are lazy, apathetic or think they are proving some obscure point by “sitting it out,” might give some thought to who the hell they are empowering, disempowering, disenfranchising, marginalizing and even helping to harm unto death.  They might give it some real deep thought because the rights, options and future with which they are gambling very well could be their own.

Update on "Something Ugly This Way Comes"

I have an update with regard to the Catholic nun’s takeover of hospitals here in Colorado.  This morning I received a phone call from a very nice lady at Good Samaritan’s in Lafayette – the patient rep it seems.  She understands my concerns, and my refusal to talk to a priest, a minister, an acolyte or anybody else associated with any church.  She is researching and will call me back.  I will keep you updated.  As the great Rachel Maddow would say, “Watch this space.”

Something Ugly This Way Comes

I am pro choice in all things.  So, if some want to believe that the moon is made of cream cheese; politicians work for the American People; corporations and money are more important the human beings and a vibrant civil society serving ALL of its members; kissing the master’s ring long enough will result in having a place at the table rather than just serving; suffering is redemptive and the only way to the heart of a heartless God, therefore, our great experiment in democracy and freedom should become a medieval style theocracy a la Ted Cruz;  forcing men and women to have more children then they can feed without recognizing a responsibility to preserve the planet on which those children will stand is honorable; and/or anyone who refuses to accept a given religion is persecuting its followers and in violation of the Constitution, because Jefferson and the boys gave one faith the exclusive right to live out its belief system – then by the Goddess they are at liberty to believe any or all of the aforementioned claptrap. 

However, such people are not invited to foul my airways, my Facebook pages or my blogs.  They are certainly not invited to come creeping into my life like an invasive and noxious weed, buying up hospitals under cover of secrecy or passing laws under cover of legislative, bureaucratic darkness.  To wit: here in northern Colorado the Little Sisters of We Move Stealthily out of Bend-Over-We-Are-Driving, Any Red State, USA, are quietly buying up hospital beds.  Pursuant to the purchase of such beds these nuns put in place something called the Ethical and Religious Directives for Catholic Health Care Services or ERDs, approved by the National Conference of Catholic Bishops.  Accordingly, abortions are not allowed except in cases where the life of the mother is threatened – a small advance over the Dark Ages, not much.  Surgical family planning options are not available to members of either sex, that is to say, both tubal ligations and vasectomies are no longer done.  Lest you think anything to the contrary, please rest assured that these nuns and priests are equal opportunity meddlers.  It seems that the advanced directives that people my age have crafted for the benefit of our loved ones, with the help of our attorneys and in accordance with our own faiths and personal convictions may not be recognized or honored.

Let me be clear, I am a Pagan Lady.  I have followed the Great Goddess longer than most of the people who will read this have been alive.  I have a spiritual obligation to Her to respect and tolerate all religions even those that are disrespectful to and intolerant of mine.  It is a moral imperative in my faith to honor and appreciate all people, as I honor and appreciate this planet and all creatures.  I do my best to comply with these requirements of my religion, but I do not and cannot respect, tolerate, honor or appreciate these sneaking, conniving, “holy sisters” and the men they serve – cheerleaders/part-time tax exempt lobbyists with their collars turned backward who spent the better part of the last century hiding pedophiles.

At Good Samaritan Hospital in Lafayette, Colorado, near my home, I was told by a staff member that not only has this takeover been secret, but the hospital itself does not advertise its affiliation.  Well, I don’t blame them.  Since all Christian denominations read the same gospel – or so I am told – one would not know that Good Sam’s is Catholic out of hand.  When Brad and I first starting going to this hospital we were encouraged to submit our living wills and advanced directive, as Kaiser and Medicare, not to mention the ACA, encouraged their creation.

When I attempted to speak to Good Samaritan about the validity of my legal directives, some nitwit on the switchboard informed me that I needed to speak to a priest.  Speak to a priest; really; me?  I am certain that she was taken aback by my loud and sustained laughter.  I then asked to speak to the patient representative.  I was given a number, called that number and left a message.  My call was never returned.  Hardly surprising since people who hide their affiliation and agenda from the public at large, seldom want to talk to a member of the public who sounds neither stupid nor supportive of their overreach. 

Kaiser tells me that it uses the few non-Catholic hospitals left in the area and Planned Parenthood to practice reproductive medicine, and that anyone who wishes to get their money, or Medicare’s come to that, had damn well better honor living wills and advanced directives.  Kaiser has been wrong before. All the same, it is funny how commerce waters down religious zealotry every time.  Still, I remain vigilant and will keep asking questions. 

Vigilance needs to be our watchword, asking questions needs to be our first line of defense, and not just where hospitals are concerned.  Although, one might start by calling their community hospital or the hospital their physician uses and finding out who owns it and who will control their life once they are admitted. 

Little by little corrupt politicians, arrogant clerics and their handmaidens are surreptitiously usurping our civil liberties.  Those who scream the most about freedom and rights are often the first to step with flagrant disregard on the freedom and rights of others.  Clandestinely and with malice of forethought money and privilege are cementing the idea that some people matter and some people don’t – those that agree with you matter and those that disagree don’t.  While the Constitution is hauled out with ever increasing regularity to justify the tyranny of zealots – the religious and the just plain power hungry alike – the material fact that has been forgotten in all this religious liberty palaver is simply this:  Jefferson and the boys wrote the Freedom of Religion and Establishment Clause in part to assert and defend freedom FROM religion.

Blossom Moon by Jackie B. Steele

Good Suns Day Morning good people,

Though it is Grandmother Moon that calls my intentions.
She waxes to fullness this day in the Depths of the Mysterious, regenerative & Sensual water sign of Scorpio.
Also called: Waabigwani - giizis - (Blossom Moon)
Flower Moon, Milk Moon.
Issuing healing and kindness to those in need.
i am grateful for you,
thank you for the Beauty of all there is that lives inside of you, People of good intentions.
I am asking for the rains to grace all parched land, and the waters run pure once more, that the Earth feels the love of those of us who do, and easing her labors.
It could happen,

Fire and Flowers by Barbara Carvallo

It is Beltane; the great Sabbat of fire and flowers; of love and renewal.  The Goddess of Summer is Mother to us all, carrying in Her swelling womb the richness of many harvests, arriving robed in lilies, tulips and the sweet violet.  In Her hair the greening ivy weaves the English daisy and sweet lavender into a crown of glory.  Goddess is eternal, moving through the cycles of the year and the web of time with loving grace and a gentle promise that She is always with us and Her magic is everlasting.  Many blessings to you all.   

Sweet Beltane by Jackie B. Steele

Spring unfurls, the pollen drifts gently down with spent tree flora, along the trails, this is beautiful, 
We still need rains, and i am asking, though Nature has a will of her own.
Blessings to those who need in light of Earth's transitions.
Sweet Beltane fertility rights ride on the tides of change.
My first Woodland Beltane Bloomer is the Tiny & Powerful Blood Root. She is on time, Nature Adapts
I Love Beltane & Samhain,
Much LOVE to you...